Not cut out for working mom life

I started back to work on March 13 and that's pretty much when my training ended. I am not finding a balance between work and home. When I'm at work, I feel guilty about things I should be doing at home. And when I'm at home, I feel guilty about things I should be doing at work. But there are some workplace benefits, read below.

There have been a few things I've done since I last wrote that I'm fairly proud of. First, on March 16 I ran a 10k, with stroller and baby, down in Santa Cruz. My time ended up being around 63-minutes or thereabouts. It was not a difficult run, but I feel for having not run more than 4 miles in training for that race that I didn't do too bad. Also, I did a three day juice cleanse at the end of April. I only cheated once on that one, and that was to have a kale salad. Not as spectacular a fail as the other juice cleanse attempt.

Trying to get back on the road to working out I joined a bootcamp class offered through my work. I can take the class during lunch so it's a doable plan. Class is three days a week. Yesterday was the first class - running, plank, crunches, ugh - but I felt OK after. Today, I had already planned to work from home and didn't make class. Slacking on day two! No that's more my style! Wish me luck!

Not even going to try to pretend anymore

This juice cleanse, and my failure to follow through with it, has made me depressed and bitchy. Not good. Today, I've decided to not even pretend that I'm doing the cleanse anymore. Had eggs, bacon, tortillas, avocado, cheese and salsa for breakfast - guilt free! It was tasted like the best breakfast ever. Better even than a Las Vegas breakfast buffet with all you can drink Hollandaise ( Happy Hollandaise! ).

What I've learned from this juice cleanse experiment is that I need to just keep on top of the exercise and not eat so damn much. Duh! Right? It's a no brainer and common knowledge but it has never seemed to, I don't know, be a rule that I've followed. But after baby, I'm thinking that I better tattoo this bit of info on my arm.

So, as the first day of my new life of eating not healthy but not so much and exercising more, I went running and hiking! Ran 4.5-miles with baby and stroller and did a 4-mile hike with husband, dog and baby. Again, my stupid Garmin died so I'm not sure of calories burned. Damn. What I do know is that I felt really good on the run and the hike. Felt strong. It's been a while since I've had a two exercise day, let alone one where I felt awesome on both outings. I hope this attitude holds out. I like this me.

Weight: 142.8
Exercise today: hike and run

Pizza cleanse!

How great would it be if that were actually a thing? A pizza cleanse. A taco fast. A milkshake colonic. Now I'm just getting gross.

I was starving all day. It is way too hard to do a cleanse while I'm at home surrounded by food all day, driving around passing fast food, making lunches for husband. Temptation awaits around every corner. There is SO MUCH FOOD EVERYWHERE! And most of it isn't good or good for you. No wonder the country is so fat.

Starving.

So when Dave called on his way home from work and said he was going to pick up Xachary's for dinner, I knew I'd cave. And I did. Gloriously. Tragically, even washing the pizza down with ranch dip and a Mike's Hard Lemonade chaser. Bliss.

Weight: 142.8

I'm a cheater

Ohmyfriggin'god I was so hungry. I totally cheated. I went to McDonald's and had a Quarter Pounder Meal for lunch! I'm hoping that all the lemon juice that's in my cleanses will get it out quickly. I feel so guilty. I'm a horrible person.

Weight: 141

No juice for you

Today was supposed to be my first day of a five day Nektar juice cleanse. I was not planning on exercising because I've done juice cleanses before and I know they leave me feeling pretty lethargic. There are so many benefits of them that I'm fine taking an exercise break ( as if I need an excuse ) like gorgeous skin, and .... and ... well, my skin looks great. Oh, and I should drop a few #'s.

My juices did not show by 10am like they were supposed to. So I had a small Greek yogurt, 2% with the fruit mix-in. So good! By 11:30, still no juice and I'm starving so I make two quesadillas with sour cream and salsa. I'm resigned that the cleanse will have to start tomorrow so I go to Taco Bell. This is how I am. Terrible.

Exercise today: Guilt and regret
Weight: 146.6

The longest miles

Saturday I went for my long run of the week - only 4.5 miles but it's the longest I've done in more than a year. Took me 55 minutes. It is so deflating to run such a short distance, taking so long and feeling so exhausted afterwards. Boy, do I give myself some credit for the training I did for Marine Corps Marathon. I remember those days, just up and run 18 miles without a warmup and at a consistent 10-minute miles. I really hope to get back to that soon, and when I do I will finally be proud of my running.

Exercise today: 4.5 mile run with baby, BOB and dog
Weight: 143.6

Reality check? Check!

So I was beginning to feel pretty good about this whole working out thing. Was feeling strong, felt I was making progress. Sunday's workout was supposed to be a yoga class and then a lap around the Lafayette Reservoir. But there was some construction snafu at the yoga place and all of the mats and gear ended up covered in plaster dust so they were spending Sunday. Owning cleaning up. Workout ended up being a ham and cheese crepe and two laps around the Lafayette Reservoir (5.4 miles of walking) while pushing the stroller. Forgot to wear my Garmin, so not sure what my calorie and rate were. In any case, I was pooped!

And today, Monday. I was gong to start the week right. I went for a run sans baby but with the dog. Felt pretty good. (3.52 miles, 41:21 TRT, and 390 calories.) After that I had a one hour session with a personal trainer who was gong to go over how to use the TRX equipment. What I didn't realize was that the trainer was going to do a full fitness assessment and total a TRX workout. The workout was great, I love TRXs but I'm so out of shape. I didn't realize how out of shape I was! Oh my god! I have to start over!

The sad reality is that I'm 29% body fat (33% is considered overweight). Sadness. Sadness.

Weight: 148 (!!!!) according to the gym scale and with my shoes on!
Today's workout: Run and TRX

No picture today because it's too awful.